When the voice in your head tells you “You’re not worthy”
Belief. What comes to mind when we hear that word? Mostly positive connotations, as beliefs shape our lives. However, for some people, negative beliefs can dominate and dictate their existence. This happens when you're surrounded by individuals who uplift you, provide positive support, and bring out the best in you.
But when limiting beliefs take hold, they can be crippling and hinder your potential for growth. They hold you back, erode your confidence, and diminish your self-esteem. It's as if the more you hear and internalize certain thoughts, the more they grow within your subconscious, making you truly believe that you're not good enough or worthy.
These thoughts often stem from external events that impact us internally. We find ourselves repeatedly saying, "I can't," which perpetuates a negative state of mind. Changing our thinking patterns and reshaping our perceptions become habitual.
Limiting beliefs can trace back to childhood experiences, school, and friends, leaving behind feelings of rejection and fostering isolation as we grow older, blindly accepting the negative narratives imposed upon us.
So, how can we break free from the control of limiting beliefs?
We begin by valuing and believing in ourselves. We identify what truly matters to us and who and what brings us happiness and motivation. We recall moments when we felt motivated and embrace those positive emotions and contentment.
"How?" you ask. By rediscovering our true selves and recognizing our strengths. It's like embarking on a personal development journey where we learn to love ourselves for the first time. Positive journaling and focusing on the good things in life play a crucial role. We set achievable small targets for ourselves and practice positive affirmations daily, gradually building them up.
As a Therapist specializing in NLP and Timeline Therapy, I often work with individuals whose deep-rooted issues originated in childhood, where abusive parental relationships shaped their self-perception. For example, I had a client whose parents were trapped in an abusive marriage. The father, an authoritarian figure, was often absent, and the mother mirrored his behavior. The client endured a difficult life, being told that they were a mistake and should never have been born. The mother would physically harm them using anything within reach.
This traumatic upbringing led the individual down a destructive path of substance abuse, seeking love and validation in all the wrong places. Relationships consistently fell apart because they lacked the emotional validation and positive role models they so desperately needed.
Learning to be kinder to oneself is crucial. I often use an exercise called "How to Treat a Friend." We reflect on how we typically respond when a friend is struggling and note our supportive words and actions, paying attention to the tone we use. Then, we examine our own responses when we're facing difficulties, exploring the factors and fears that hinder self-compassion.
What would change if we started treating ourselves differently?
The pivotal question is whether the client is willing and ready for change. Through timeline therapy, we create new learnings that allow them to move forward, releasing self-blame and breaking free from destructive patterns. We work on resolving unresolved negative emotions like anger, sadness, hurt, guilt, and fear. As they experience the liberation and lightness, they visualize a future that is brighter and more fulfilling.
Remember, your worthiness is not defined by your past. Embrace the opportunity to transform your inner dialogue and live a life guided by self-compassion and empowerment.